That's Her Last Wish

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That's Her Last Wish

by Nitish
(Kanpur, INDIA)

Swear.
I swear,
for nothing I have now to spare.
She is no more
O God how you dare?
Feelings enough suppressed and heart so busted,
Ah my breath now so thin and arrested.

I know, yeah I know
She was my dream, and to live
her dreams my reason.
But what now?
O God how you dare?

I don't want to live
O light of divine,
punish me for guilt was mine.
I will accept the truth, the truth of vine.
Yet packed in heart
but buried in mind.
Will spill now words
till my dim breath shine.

Into my Morning of adolescence
I was waking
sheer unknown for what was waiting.
I was Struck
struck by Light,
Oh so purer, oh so divine.

Voice, oh so sweet
and her singing so
still thrills my body whole.
Oh so solemn was those moves.
Flowing smile of eyes
and her presence, oh so benign.
Choked me whole but my eyes alive
looking at her as she was mine.

I never talked though
I was eager,
But listened her deep
when my name pronounced.
I must say
her agreeable eyes
and her concern
too much for me and my life.

Like wind, she was gone
But I was there, like thin leaf trembling
with a promise that
float on my eyes.

Years spent, so many springs.
Though Spring with her
so much cling.
Her face so familiar
her voice so nearer
made me contented oh so ever.

Twelve years past like
a drawling train.
At every halt wished
to search for her, but
oh that 'reason' of mine!
Slowed me down and got me back.
Achieved my dreams but Ah mercenary
but I must say thought
Enough for her and her smile.

From this Height, now my body fall
for the beauty that rests down.

Few days back
searched for her with all my breath
but Ah found her in that grave.
Ah now my breath so dim
just few words to tell
O God if you wish.
Now her people say
and make me weep,
she wished to touch me and touch my soul.
That's her last wish till she died.

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That's Her Last Wish

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Could hav been much better
by: Kshitij

A lot of corrections-

'Train drawling'- it makes no sense. drawling is never attached to train..google it.

'I will accept the truth, the truth of vine'...truth of vine makes no sense. so it should be corrected.

'Will spill now words
till my dim breath shine.'....dim breath shines and will spill new/now words..i didn't understand which one!

'Oh so purer, oh so divine.'...Oh so pristine, oh so divine is a better suggestion!

'Oh so solemn was those moves.' Oh so solemn were those moves. (grammatical error)

'float on my eyes.' float over my eyes (as what I think)

'but I must say thought
Enough for her and her smile.'....but I must say, thought enough of her and her smile.

'just few words to tell
O God if you wish'...didn't understood the meaning.

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good job
by: Anonymous

Nice poem .. quite deep...

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Deep Man
by: Anonymous

Really deep poem, man. Makes one really stop and think.

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Fantastic Poem
by: Katie

I truly enjoyed your poem. I can tell that it came from the very depth of your being. I think there might be a slight language barrier, but I understood it. Really great poem. Just much more depth than a lot of the ones on this site. Keep writing.

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Thanks
by: Nitish

Thank You All for your generous comments..:)

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Nice Effort
by: Davo

Big words do not a good poem make

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I LIKE IT!!
by: Allie

I LIKE your poem! It is a tad hard to follow, but so is the works of most of the world's greatest poets. Poetry by definition contains shades and nuances of feelings that are often difficult to interpret. There may be a slight cultural barrier, of sorts. Anyway, I think your poem is AWESOME!

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Makes no sense
by: Anonymous

Too complicated for me

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Hard to follow
by: Paige

KISS-Keep It Simple Stupid!

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That's Her Last Wish

Comments for That's Her Last Wish

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That's Her Last Wish